I have seen some of my dearest, closest friends of so many years, who in general are always naturally beautiful people both on the outside and within, for the longest time always looking for relationships with only successful partners such as a doctor or airline pilot; but whoever they meet, those friendships and budding relationships never last too long. Their honest attempts at interpersonal happiness have always failed and then as if by automation, my friends suffer and become depressed. Upon seeing this, as a teacher it is my responsibility to give advice and guidance that will fix the problem, and I truly feel sick at heart.
The best advice I have to give is to not date or marry for money but to date or marry for affection’s sake.
Friendships and relationships based on both partners actually caring for the other are the types of friendships founded on the very best basis. When a friendship or romantic relationship is based on monetary matters then it is almost always bound to fail, like a weak unstable building during a superficial disturbance.
It is better that everyone spend their time with each other caring for the other person in the relationship. This is meritorious and grows healthy, strong relationships that do not go wrong but instead unfold both naturally and with ease. When an improperly based relationship is not like virtuous like this, then that relationship deteriorates to a situation similar to living in a small box or being trapped in an elevator, full of paranoia with heavy personal boundaries, where people look over their backs with fright, are never relaxed, never comfortable and are far too easily disturbed over matters that are actually trivial.
So many people either ignorant or naive, are always looking for tokens of worldly attainment and riches; however considering this with logic, money alone can not make you into a good person. Also, consider- having an abundance of money is not always healthy, It can lead to a person acting just like a butterfly, always easily being able to go here and there with out any discipline or inner purpose.
On the other hand, a focus on being a good person can help you have enough to live by and abundance. True Buddhist people, those who are not attached to money, still require and need to work for money like everyone else; but, because they don’t meditate 24 hours daily on the subject of making money, they actually have little or no attachment to matters like this.
Those who are, foolishly attached to money, meditate non-stop, 24 hours a day on subjects like monetary and other types of gain; because of this, they are more than willing to engage in floods of negative actions like: lying, cheating, theft, and plotting to murder others should they think it would serve their pocket well. Just as they are doing these negative things, entirely for worldly gain, they are in that same instant creating brand-new, heavy and bad karmas. It is just like every being in a plentiful Savannah rushing into the open mouths of crocodiles at the riverbanks. Once trapped in a crocodile’s mouth, suddenly it becomes very difficult to enjoy true happiness. It is a similar situation in samsara with attachments that revolve around money.
Some of us turn people down and then wait and wait for the right successful partner, a doctor, a pilot or whatever to come along, but time passes by and we become old with out having loved anyone deeply and without having lived completely.
I write these words, not with the intention to criticize, but with hope that it might be of help to someone either too young to know yet or to whom this advice might currently apply. My wish is these words are helpful to all of using living today, in this very moment.
How many times do we enjoy the momentary things in this life?
It is just like a dream.
However Long or short a dream we may enjoy is,
It is still a dream,
the product of a conceptual and deluded mind.
All the time we think deluded experiences truly exist
but this belief of ours is not really true
Experiences are just like bubbles in water
And a True Phenomena does not actually exist
Phenomena are always deluded.
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To not become happy because of praise, To not become unhappy because of blame, To support one's own good virtues, This is the character of the supreme being.
If the intention is good, the levels and paths are good. If the intention is bad, the levels and paths are bad, Since everything depends on intentions it is important that we make them positive.
Do not do anything harmful to one another, do only what is good. Discipline your own mind to subdue negative emotions.
Do no evil whatsoever, practice virtue perfectly, tame your mind completely. This is the teaching of the Buddhist doctrine.